2019: The Year of Imperfection

My past words to sum up each year of my life have always been positive. It seems strange to use a disappointing word like "imperfection" to describe what God has taught me in this past year of my existence, yet it is deeply fitting and strangely satisfying. This year has been paradoxically full of both difficulty and rich growth, and through it I have come to see imperfection as a truly beautiful word.

I have always been a major perfectionist. I believe in making things the very best they can be, and refuse to be satisfied with less than excellence. I want to fix things, set things in order, establish consistency and control . . . all while living in a frustratingly imperfect world. No matter what I do, life is never exactly what I wish it to be. And this year, I've had to face that fact more honestly than ever before. I've had to admit weakness and failure, let go of ideals and securities, and learn to embrace the truth that this world, with everything and everyone in it, is imperfect. For now. Perfection is coming, and above all, my desire for the Lord's return and restoration has deepened as I acknowledge the current struggles.

Embracing imperfection is painful, yet freeing. As long as I keep trying to make my world perfect by my own wisdom and effort, I will keep running into frustration and despair. And by pretending that imperfection doesn't affect me, I am only lying to myself. Illness, grief, loss, and weakness are real. I can't change that. But in shining contrast is the Lord's perfect strength and sovereignty over all imperfections I could ever encounter. The beauty of this present imperfection is that it drives us to the feet of the only Perfect One, who has promised to come again and make all things new.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!